Whitneyy Wonderr :: Recent Entries

Title:	Ages
Date:	2009-02-04 @ 21:01
Security:	public

Since I've done this, we'll see if I start up again.
Amazing the last entry was about Justin.
Gawd, that's a blast from my past.

I'll see if I write more later.

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Title:	Hmph
Date:	2008-07-06 @ 13:36
Security:	public

I suppose I should write about whats bothering me. I'm majorly anti-drug as you know and Justin likes to smoke pot. We went to the pool yesterday with his friends and all they talked about was drugs and getting high.. He knows how much I hate it. Then once I dropped him off at his house...He went and got high with his friends. I asked him last night if he would quit doing pot for me and he refused.. I'm not sure what I'm going to do. People say it shouldn't bother me or be a big deal but it is... =/

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Title:	:]
Date:	2008-07-04 @ 23:47
Security:	public

Very very good day today. Justin came over around 2pm and he was with me all day until after the fireworks.. We had a cookout at the house then went over to Princeton.. Katie was there with John, Ashley and to my suprise Fat Ass [[michelle]] and the babies Gavin and Sophie were there. They were supposed to be at home with fat ass. Cause obviously they are too small for such events but I'm assuming she bitched and tagged along. I went over by them with Justin and Katie to ask if Katie could go swimming with us.. I know Michelle wanted to kill me but I was all friendly talking to her children and the babies. :] Katie can go. xD So me Katie Justin and Kyle are all going swimming tomorrow. Justin said he'll pay for me and Kyle will pay for Katie.. we'll see about that. I'm bringing money just incase. OH I'm not sure if I mentioned.. Last night Justin told me he is BUYING ME A HUSKY. It is going to be kept at his place until I can get my own.. but I GET MY DREAM DOG. It's a female and she's white and grey. I'm ooober excited. :] He's getting her for $200. Gosh, I love that boy. Not cause he buys me presents.. I mean I would still love him to peices even if he weren't doing this.. It just makes him so much more special and perfect I suppose. :] I'm extremely tired after today but I want to talk to him a bit more online.. I'm so happy I have him. My whole family loves him. :] And he likes them. It means alot to me.. OH! Caitlyn came to the fireworks with Chris her boyfriend.. and he knows my grandpa! After the fireworks I turned and they were talking to each other.. It was odd. They used to work together. :] So I think that is kind of cool. I told Cait and Chris to come to my birthday next Sunday she said she would. And she dyed her hair BLONDE. I was majorly shocked!! She looks so different but still pretty as ever. :] Well, I suppose I'm done for now.. Going to talk to Justin a bit more then go to sleep. :]

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Title:	Whoa.
Date:	2008-07-02 @ 23:52
Security:	public

Not really in the mood to write.
have been busy alot.
today I went the the YMCA
with Manda.. it was good I had a good workout.
I needed it. Haven't done it in so long.
Katie is now dating Justins friend Kyle
He's 14 she's 11.
I think it's okay as long as I'm always chaparoning.
They won't have a chance... >.>
And I'll kill him if he moves to fast.
Justin and Kyle went to the pool with us.
It was good. :] Really fun.
Justin was carrying me I kept thinking he was going to dunk me.
I got so scared!! Lol.
He's coming over tomorrow <3
I'm so excited.. I miss him loads.
I think I'm really fallen for this guy...

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Title:	:]
Date:	2008-07-01 @ 00:31
Security:	public
Mood:	calm

I went to my babys house today. :] We hung out in his basement. I seriously want to like move into it. It has a pool table, ping pong, ps2, ps3, 3 tv's, 2 computers, air hockey that doesn't work, a game machine thing like they have in an arcade, 2 couches, exercise machines, futon bed thing, blankets, mini fridge.. It's pure bliss! We had makeup sex TWICE! I couldn't walk! Lol. I came home walking funny and Grandma is like "You and boyfriend did the deed" and I laughed and she goes "Thank God you're on birth control." It was funny. Then she asked me why I was so sore.. and I'm like he's HUGE. She laughed at me.

Once I came home I went shopping with Lynnie[[myaunt]] and Grandma.. Lynnie looked for church clothes got two things.. like $100 all together costs.. Horrid Prices. Rip off.. Anyways I was only concerned with going to the puppy store!! They had my huskys!! I want one so baddd. I want a male though.. The one I liked in the store was female.. she had a black coat with white underneath and was absolutely beautiful!! I can't wait til I move out and get my own dogg. xD

Before we went to t he mall we went to HyVee to look for a birthday cake design. I wanted Pokemon [[nerdy i know]] but it wasn't available D= So I found 2 others I loved. One is carebears and is all cute and colorful. The other was to die for! It was in the "baby" section of the catalog thing.. Grandma laughed at me for it. But it had 2 real rubber duckies on it and the shape and icing made it look like they were inn a bathtub! Cutest thing I've ever seen I swear. I want that cake!!! Not much else really happened today... I'm not really all that depressed..

going with justin and katie swimming tomorrow :] can't waitt

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Title:	Good.
Date:	2008-06-30 @ 01:52
Security:	public
Mood:	cheerful

Day today.. Justin asked me back out.. he said he made a mistake. I have my baby back. I just don't want to be so heartbroken again. My friends said I shouldn't of taken him back.. and maybe they're right.. But all I know is I love him.. And I want to be with him.. Everyone else can fuck themselves if they have a problem with it.. He truely is amazing.. I would do anything for him.. I really would...

I found a gorgeous Vincent layout for myspace, I'm going to put it on tomorrow, I'm too tired atm tbh. It's DIV so it will take some work... If you want to see Vincent video go to my teenspot and watch it in my personal space. It's a short film directed and written by Tim Burton, narrated by Vincent Price<3 my teenspot url is www.teenspot.com/profiles/xxxCoinOperatedGirlxxx

I'm off now howeverr... I love you baby<3

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Title:	Untitled
Date:	2008-06-28 @ 22:06
Security:	public
Location:	my room
Music:	Bliss - Hinder
Mood:	crushed

Today my ex's friend called me a lazy slut, then my ex said "fuck you". What I did to deserve being disrespected like that is beyond me. I'm too weak to ffight back... I haven't slept. Today I spent the majority in the bathroom puking my guts out. I forced myself to go to the video sale.. I got my Rocky Horror... and Boys Don't Cry. The rest I could of lived without. They are mainly thrillers... I almost passed out in the store however. I got really weak and dizzy and my heart started pounding super fast. Gma had to leave the store to take me home then come back for my aunt and the movies. Pretty sad if you can't even be in a video store for 20 mins. I feel empty inside.. I feel like my heart is gone. It's more then just him dumping me. I'm not that crazy.. to where I would freak really bad. I don't have like any real life friends. Once I got sick they all forgot about me. I had Cait, then she moved. I was alone for the longest time.. With only my grandma and little sister as my companions. He gave me a glimpse of the outside world.. Made me feel like I might be part of it.. I planned on going out all there places I never get to go.... When he dumped me it wasn't that I lost a boyfriend.. I lost a chance of life again. If you can understand what I'm saying.. I know what I mean but I may have not explained it right. Another thing about him was I temporarily forgot about all my problems. Forgot about all the things that make me so damn depressed... Now I sit and wallow.. I know I'm pathetic. I know I shouldn't wallow and should just move on... but I have no where to move on to.. I'm tired beyond all belief. I'm listening to all sorts of music but I can't seem to sleep. I wish I could. Even though my dreams usually just upset me more when I wake.. Cause my dreams have the things I desire so despretely. The reality that should exist. When I wake to realize it was just a dream it tares me up. To have a dream you are with your mom... that you are spending time with her... then waking up and realizing she's not there to hug, to touch.. it's torture. I don't want to be so depressed, I don't want to wallow, yet I can't help it. I need to be stronger.. I'm just not sure how.. Mattykins and Ellie and Jackie and Susan were amazing last night.. All very supportive, wanting me to cheer up and forget things.. Mattykins was the best, he truely is my best friend. He has really good advice and I should always listen to him.. After all he did tell me Justin was bad.. and what do you know he was.. I feel like Mattykins can really understand me or try his best to come close to my feelings. We're so alike in many ways.. I can't believe we were ever enemies. I don't want a birthday, and I don't want to go to the fireworks on the 4th.. I was supposed to be with Justin all day them days... without him I'll be alone.. Granted I'll have my family.. but I need more. I love my family to death.. I just need people my own age. Seems that isn't going to happen.. Seems nothing is ever right. Seems like we all die miserable.. Do we? I feel I'll be dead soon enough.. Maybe in death I won't have to deal with this.. If death is absolute. I'm not quite sure of that.. I want to believe there is a heaven.. but going to heaven is just going to prolong my pain.. So in death, do we really escape the world? I have no idea what I am rambling on about.. I can't even think straight...

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Title:	Dumped.
Date:	2008-06-27 @ 23:59
Security:	public
Location:	Computer chair.
Music:	LG FAUD - Motion City Soundtrack
Mood:	crushed

I need to stop trusting.
I need to stop caring.
I don't want to live.
Other day at the store I grabbed 3 pill bottles.
I wasn't sure why I did it.
I took 2 bottles tonight.
He wants to be friends.
I wish I never met him.
It seriously questions things.
Were all the things he said lies?
I've been crying.
I don't cry over males.
I don't think they're worth it.
But now I keep sobbing.
I need to get some more to drink.
So I can take that last bottle.
I can't stop listening to All Hail The Heartbreaker - Spill Canvas
And LG FUAD - Motion City Soundtrack.
My self worth definatly went away.

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Title:	Another Day Another Blowjob.
Date:	2008-06-27 @ 21:46
Security:	public
Location:	My Room.
Mood:	blah

My subject is from the book "Go Ask Alice" author unknown. My mother always used to say it to me. She said things to me regardless if it was age appropriate or not. I learned most things I know from her. I really did love her even if I didn't show it well. All I want is her back, and I wouldn't ask for anything else in this world. I know I wouldn't. I'd live on the fucking street if I could be with her again. Sadly, that is never going to happen. Maybe she really is not dead, and some day she'll come back and tell us all why she had to fake her own death... Until then I'm left here dreaming. Tonight I watched the original Prom Night with my grandma, even though she was asleep for most of it. It has Jamie Lee Curtis in it and is from 1988. I found it quite good. I tend to find movies from the past better then the ones they make today. They may have more corny death scences and less blood but they some how are just better. I can't really explain it. Maybe you know how I feel about it? Tomorrow our video store is having this big sale. You go there with a grocery bag and get to fill it to the top with as many vhs as you can get, only for $20. I don't really care about most of the movies, but I'll die if some one takes Rocky Horror Picture Show. That movie is amazing. I rent it like every other week. It would be a great purchase for me. I'm really hoping to get it. I can picture myself if some one else tries to get it.. I would wrestle them to the ground grasping the movie in my hands. Like how you see in commercials, or tv shows when woman are fighting over a dress or sweater. I know that will be me. I'm not really sure at what to type which is odd. I should be able to type tons and tons.. I'm having a mind block.. I'll try again later.

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Title:	Short.
Date:	2008-06-27 @ 09:52
Security:	public
Location:	My Room
Mood:	content

For this entry I am only saying that I am looking for friends.. Intellectual people who would like to discuss things of interest. I'm very friendly and good at giving advice. It would not be a waste to have me on your profile. So please if you are interested befriend me.

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